It's fifty-nine minutes down the hour of 8'o clock in the evening, that means i am three hours and one minute close to greeting new year's eve. I am full of Harry Potter and nightmares in my mind that i can't think of raging about how my mom, again, totally forgot me or set me aside as her least priority, she haven't even messaged me nor called since Christmas. You can't put the blame on me in any angle because, i as her only daughter, clearly have all the right in the world to be one of her greatest priority, for one, she hasn't got a new boyfriend, and i no longer have a father. i don't think she's been that busy, she's apparently ignoring me because she knows how little of a mother she has been to me.

I am tired of raging at, crying for and destroying my mood everytime i meet new years just because she does not exist. if she wants it that way, then be it. I won't cry tonight, i will act as if i do not have a mother. after all, i was always on my own.

so yeah, i'm counting down... i can't wait to have a blast on my out-of-this world laugh and with that i will try to muster, with all my might, the courage to be happy ALONE. :D

of course, i ain't alone. i have my cousins, aunts and uncles, who never deprived me of love, care and attention a parent has to give. i've learned to live with them and it seems that i we part, i'd miss them more than my mother.

My mother is sweet, though, giving me all the stuffs i need, i mean, material stuffs. Luxuries, money, gadgets and stuffs. All that except her holistic being of a parent.

Wishing each and everyone of you a happy New Year!