We do not remember days; we remember moments.
~Cesare Pavese,
i am now leaving him [year 2008] with no regrets. the only thing that is left for me is our memoirs together. so far, this is the most colorful year, yet what hurts me most is that im about to end our relationship being unprepared. maybe i just have to make a new chapter of my novel. a chapter that would make people love my character better than how they loved it in the previous chapters.
'twas the night before new year's eve of year 2008 and everyone's busy prepairing food, getting the house organized for tomorrow's big event and fireworks were around. the noise used to cause my eardrums pain and destruction. i never loved fireworks at all, except for the ones that bring colorful spectrums in the sky.
i was frazzled that time and i haven't ate my supper. when i asked for food, my aunt shouted at me for an unknown reason. i was pissed off. who would dare to work for hell of hours without eating? i won't. so i went to a dark corner and cried.
i did not cry for the mere fact that she shouted at me. i don't know. thoughts started to pop out of my mind. thoughts of not having a family. thoughts of being ditched. i just don't get why i don't get used to it. i cry every new year's eve and i just can't help but shed a tear. i this sounds crazy but instead of rejoicing, i used to pour out my agony. that's how i start my new year. maybe this is the main reason why i usually do not have good year.
then january finally started and thoughts such that months later im going to be a senior stirred my emotion. but then again, i found myself daydreaming 'bout what's gonna happen in college. what course will i take and where will i study.
february will never be deleted in my list, of course. i experienced my first ever JS promenade. all dressed-up in dazzling and beaded night gown, some in their cocktail dresses and boys in their tux. the ceremony was really memorable yet we ran out of time for the disco. that ruined a part of our promenade, though.
around march, i was really loaded with my works as the RED CROSS CLUB's treasurer. i was tasked to write financial statements. worse, my members had to run after me and get their clearances signed. i looked like a famous celebrity by that. lol. so much for that, i love my job.
then finally, it was summer vacation. tell you what, about my summer vacation? i spent most of the time infront of the computer. i usually sleep at 2 or 3 am. i used to love dawn. then when i woke up, i used to eat my lunch and do the dishes. i do that almost everyday. :) when summer vacation was about to end, i was really, really excited to meet my senior life.
then finally it was june. that's where i had my new haircut, the bangs. my school supplies where all colored blue. so weird! when did i start to love blue? lol. the thing that amazed me most was that, i didn't open my mouth as wide as my classmates did and talked about what they did during summer. i found myself infront of kevin jasani smiling at familiar faces. those faces, i guess i've known for years.
this academic year was quite different. reasons behind? well, palaro was moved to the month of november and we are used to having it on the month of september. contest were closed except for the cheerdance and minor contest such as spelling bee and quiz bowl. culminating activities was that exciting no more. it was also announced that palaro will be held at our school. students were never happy then.
when the month of november striked, there were no more regular classes for preparations. till intramurals came. we did not expect that it'll be better held in school than in the GRANDSTAND.
and for us seniors, it's the best year. see entry: GIVE WAY TO THE TOP DOGS. then after a week, another big event was celebrated, the alumni homecoming and family day. it started with a torch parade where we, the porpis class, had to make our own motorcade due to some transportation problems. we were in a truck wearing our glow-in-the-dark sticks, shouting howling and yelling out loud. that was really memorable for me. and guess what? this time, i was not able to cry. during family days, i used to cry. you'd never ask why now. :)
and then achievement test went on. after that, we had our christmas party. this was the most memorable and blissful one. i loved the concept. we had our exchange gifts first thing in the morning. but it was not plainly that. one had to rush up and look for his gift. the one who finds his/her gift last would be first to do the dare that the jackass group prepared for each one of us. my dare was to kneel on rock salt for 30 seconds. it was no challenge at all. lol. our beloved adviser prepared the games for us. and really, i loved it a lot. we were all dressed in out hoodie class shirt that time and we got eyes staring at us as if we were group of hiphop people in our class.
after the party, we went to town while other's went swimming. i still remember, my friend rhiza lost her cellphone that day.
and finally now as im having a christmas break, only my friends would make me smile. their messages and comments and their inspirational talks during our chat. gaaahd. i really feel bad. we, cousins play during the night till dawn. we watch our uncles and aunts play domino. they even crack jokes. just imagine aged people laughing so hard. lol. but still im agonizing cause i feel that i dont belong.
a lot of things happened this year. i just dont think that people would love to read long entries. so that's why let's cut it short. yes, this is short.
i hope that there awaits a brighter future for me. and of course, i hope that i'll still have more remaining years to live.
XOXO,
TiM
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